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Daddy! This place smells like tinkle.
Masturbation 101
by: Kyodi Tae
Posted: 02/05/00         Score: 2.7         Votes: 194
This is the same pedophile as in Dirk's "I Like Clowns!" log. Here's a new twist on an old favorite: manual masturbation.
fxydydx: still there?
Kyodi Tae: Yeah.
fxydydx: what happened
Kyodi Tae: Well, I had to clean up. Sorry.
fxydydx: all you wet ness
Kyodi Tae: Yeah, my cum was everywhere.
fxydydx: ok.
fxydydx: can you make me cum
Kyodi Tae: Not from here.
fxydydx: what do you mean not from here?
Kyodi Tae: Well, you're going to have to do the manual work. I'm in Korea, remember?
fxydydx: but you gotta tell me what you gonna do if i'm there
Kyodi Tae: Oh...what I'm going to do? I was going to walk you through it.
fxydydx: ok. . .
fxydydx: hold on gotta get some napkin
fxydydx: im back
Kyodi Tae: No, don't get napkins!
Kyodi Tae: You're stupposed to come on your keyboard.
fxydydx: ok
fxydydx: on your breast
Kyodi Tae: No, on your keyboard. My breasts are like three thousand or more miles away from you.
fxydydx: ok. but just keep typing cuz i might not be able to answer it if im doing it
Kyodi Tae: Ok, ... well, first I need you to get a gamehen. Do you know what that is?
fxydydx: no?
Kyodi Tae: It's a small chicken. Normally in your freezer. Ask your mom for one.
fxydydx: ok
fxydydx: i got one
Kyodi Tae: Sweet. Is it frozen?
fxydydx: not really
Kyodi Tae: Ok, that will make it easier.
Kyodi Tae: Cut a paring knife.
Kyodi Tae: Er, get a paring knige.
Kyodi Tae: FUCK! Knife.
fxydydx: im not gonna do that
Kyodi Tae: I need you to get the knife so you can cut the gamehen.
fxydydx: ok
fxydydx: i got one
Kyodi Tae: Sweet. So, now, cut the gamehen down the center from the neck to the groin. Cut deeply, but not completely through it.
fxydydx: ok
fxydydx: i'm cutting
Kyodi Tae: Mmmm....good. That gets me so hot.
fxydydx: ok its cut
Kyodi Tae: Sweet...now, get some parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme, mix it together with some flour and breadcrumbs into an even mixture.
Kyodi Tae: Oh, I am getting so horny.
fxydydx: ok
fxydydx: i'm already horny
Kyodi Tae: Ok, do you have the mixture ready?
fxydydx: yaeh
Kyodi Tae: Ok, now you need to put the breadcrumb mixture into the slit you just cut into the gamehen.
fxydydx: ok
Kyodi Tae: Alright...now, I need you to pour a light red wine over top of the whole turkey, not too much, but enough to get the entire surface and all the breadcrumbs wet.
fxydydx: ok
fxydydx: its poured
Kyodi Tae: Sweet...ok, now get a small cooking pot and some aluminum foil.
fxydydx: ok. . .
Kyodi Tae: I'm almost ready to come.
fxydydx: ok its here
fxydydx: what does that do to me?
Kyodi Tae: Well, hang on - wrap the entire bird, stuffing and all, in the aluminum foil.
fxydydx: ok. it's wrapped
Kyodi Tae: Now, put the covered bird in the cooking pot, put the lid over it, and cook for three hours at 400 degrees.
fxydydx: ok
fxydydx: that makes me hungry
Kyodi Tae: That makes me horny.
Kyodi Tae: Did you cum from that?
fxydydx: nope.
Kyodi Tae: Are you sure?
Kyodi Tae: That's how you make yourself cum.
fxydydx: nope
Kyodi Tae: Hrm...are you sure? I always blow my wad when I do that.
fxydydx: nope
fxydydx: so?
Kyodi Tae: Damn. Well, in case I'm reading this wrong, you just made Kung Pao Chicken - Korean style. Hrm...lemme find the male-to-male masturbation book.
fxydydx: are you male?
Kyodi Tae: Um, no.
fxydydx: well then look for female to male
Kyodi Tae: Oh. I see where you're going with this - you like roleplaying.
Kyodi Tae: Sweet...me, too.
fxydydx: ok
fxydydx: then role play me
Kyodi Tae: Ok, I'm you. I just put my Korean style Kung Pao Chicken in the oven, now I'm back and teasing you with my cock, darting its big purple head in and out of your pussy.
fxydydx: ok
Kyodi Tae: What are you going to do?
fxydydx: i meant role paly a real lady with me
fxydydx: lady
Kyodi Tae: Hrm...so you don't want me to be male?
fxydydx: nope
fxydydx: i wnt you to be the way you are
Kyodi Tae: Damn.. Then this is going to be tough.
Kyodi Tae: Ok.
fxydydx: just try
Kyodi Tae: Alright, well, if I accidentally whip out a cock at the wrong time, lemme know.
fxydydx: ok
fxydydx: im hard now
Kyodi Tae: I can't believe the chicken didn't do that for ya. That always gets me hard.
fxydydx: what do you mean hard. do you have a dick or a pussy
Kyodi Tae: Which of them can get hard?
fxydydx: dick.
Kyodi Tae: HA! Trick question.
Kyodi Tae: Neither of them get hard.
fxydydx: well im hard i mean my dick
Kyodi Tae: Your dick is hard?
fxydydx: yeah
fxydydx: i wanna cum
fxydydx: do you know how to suck
Kyodi Tae: Do you
fxydydx: pussy and breast yea
Kyodi Tae: Ok, ...
fxydydx: well role paley like wer having sex
Kyodi Tae: Well, can I roleplay as a guy? That's so much more fun.
fxydydx: nope. . .cuz im a guy
Kyodi Tae: You are?@
Kyodi Tae: ?!
fxydydx: yeah
Kyodi Tae: Damn it...me, too. This could be a problem.
fxydydx: fuck you
Kyodi Tae: Well, I'm almost off - suck me or something.
Kyodi Tae: Hello?
fxydydx: be honest guy or female
Kyodi Tae: Ok, honestly - I'm female.
fxydydx: ok
fxydydx: then
fxydydx: what can we do
Kyodi Tae: Well, ... how about this: I'll suck your cock if you suck mine afterward.
fxydydx: ok
Kyodi Tae: Sweet!
fxydydx: ok then begin
Kyodi Tae: Ok, ...so I'm sucking your cock in my mouth.
fxydydx: ok. . .
fxydydx: describe how you do it
Kyodi Tae: Well, I'd probably take it in my mouth, bite a little, actually a lot (I'm a biter), then get it all wet, ... tongue's moving, etc, etc, blah blah blah.
Kyodi Tae: Now, you describe how you're sucking mine?
fxydydx: well i'll suck your breast and the lick it and then bite it and play my tongue into it
Kyodi Tae: Don't suck my breasts.
fxydydx: why?
Kyodi Tae: There's something else I have for you.
fxydydx: what?
Kyodi Tae: Um, my cock.
fxydydx: fuck you/ / / jerk your self off
Kyodi Tae: Already did when you made me that chicken.
fxydydx: fuck yourself
Kyodi Tae: Come on - that's not half as fun as fucking you.

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