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A friend is not someone who asks you to stick his penis in your mouth. - Dr. Phil
My Child
by: IntoxiChrist
Posted: 07/11/00         Score: 3.3         Votes: 198
When I decide to take My hot-headed, illiterate children home, KareBear1455 will be the first in line!
KareBear1455: jackass
KareBear1455: absolutely no respect whatsoever
KareBear1455: DIE
IntoxiChrist: I already died.
KareBear1455: RIGHT
KareBear1455: THEN DIE AGAIN
KareBear1455: PAINFULLY
IntoxiChrist: No. I conquered death.
KareBear1455: AH HUH, GREAT
KareBear1455: GO TO HELL THEN FOR ALL I CARE, AND WASNT' IT, SATAN
CONQUERED DEATH?

IntoxiChrist: No. I conquered death. And I conquered Satan.
IntoxiChrist: When it was all over, I laid him face-down on the ground, and had my Way with him.
KareBear1455: great just great watever u say u damn asshole
IntoxiChrist: Please. As your Lord and Savior, there's no need for you to be so rash with Me. I love you.
KareBear1455: right
KareBear1455: watever u say
IntoxiChrist: I'm willing to overlook your ignorance. I might even try to sneak you into Heaven if you're nice. You cansleep in my room.
KareBear1455: u can't sneak ne one into heaven
KareBear1455: well then smart ass
KareBear1455: what does it take to get into heaven
KareBear1455: ?
IntoxiChrist: I'd sneak you in. I know a secret passage.... Leads right into my bedroom.
KareBear1455: ROTFL
KareBear1455: THAT IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING I'VE EVER HEARD
KareBear1455: JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION SMARTASS
IntoxiChrist: Well, your name needs to be in the Book of Life, if you want to get in any other way.
KareBear1455: AND HOW EXACTLY DOES IT GET THERE?
IntoxiChrist: It starts when you abandon your life of sin, and follow Me.
KareBear1455: and how is that?
IntoxiChrist: You're the "expert" on this. You should know.
KareBear1455: o yeh and if ur supposed to be christ you should want to tell me to help meinto heaven
IntoxiChrist: I Am willing to let you in. Just knock on my window. I'll have some cocktails ready, and we'll get downand dirty.
KareBear1455: haha, i wouldn't go that low
IntoxiChrist: Yes you would. You'd go waaayyy down. *wink*
IntoxiChrist: Why do you doubt Me, My child?
KareBear1455: (k) - just to let you know, since you're obviously not saved, you have tobelieve that jesus came down on earth because he loved us so much, he died on thecross then rose from the dead three days later. he is now in heaven and is preparing aplace to live for all the christains on earth.
KareBear1455: (KM) dont' call me your child jackass
IntoxiChrist: I've already prepared a place. Now I've come back to take you to my Heavenly Kingdom. ...I'm just alittle drunk right now, My child.
KareBear1455: don't call me YOUR CHILD
KareBear1455: y don't u get your drunk ass over to a hospital
IntoxiChrist: You didn't think I was going to take another millenium, did you? I waited 2,000 years, but I'm not thatmuch of a slacker.
IntoxiChrist: I don't need a doctor; I am the Great Healer.
IntoxiChrist: I could use a nice, hot nurse, though.
IntoxiChrist: A redhead. In a short skirt. Mmmm!
KareBear1455: you don't need a healing doc, you need a doctor who will diagnose you as acrazy and lock you up for good
IntoxiChrist: Look, I'm either a liar, a lunatic, or the Lord.
IntoxiChrist: Which am I?
KareBear1455: why do you say you're christ and don't take religion seriously when it'sactually a matter a life and death situation for all eternity
KareBear1455: and by the way, your a lunatic AND liar
IntoxiChrist: Yes, religion is a very serious thing. Eternal matters are at stake here.
IntoxiChrist: What are you wearing?
KareBear1455: lets see, wouldn't you know if you we're who u say u are?
IntoxiChrist: Yes... but I want you to describe it to Me, My child.
KareBear1455: damn it if you call me you child one more time, i'm gonna track down yousorry drunk ass and shoot it to death myself, i've got connections in the military ass,they can find your adress just from this fuckin conversation
IntoxiChrist: I control the Army of God. And... would you try to cut down on your swearing, My child? I find ifoffensive.
IntoxiChrist: Er... I find IT offensive.
KareBear1455: bite me asshole
KareBear1455: you can take you perverted little mind somewhere else and your strangebeliefs with you
IntoxiChrist: I'd rather kiss you gently on the lips, holding one hand gently behind your head.
KareBear1455: and just for the record, i'm NOT YOUR CHILD
KareBear1455: BITE ME ASSHOLE
KareBear1455: DONT' CALL ME YOUR CHILD
KareBear1455: DON'T TALK TO ME
KareBear1455: DON'T EVEN THINK OF ME EVER AGAIN
KareBear1455: I'LL PRAY FOR YOU
IntoxiChrist: You might try to disown Me, but I have eternal love for you.
IntoxiChrist: You, My child, are precious to me. I died for you. This present conflict troubles My soul.
KareBear1455: DON'T CALL ME YOUR CHILD ASS
IntoxiChrist: I didn't call you my "child ass". Why would I do such a thing to you, My precious child?
KareBear1455: stop trying to sound smart jackass
KareBear1455: i'll pray for you
IntoxiChrist: You're right; it is not wise to put your faith in intelligence... instead, live on faith, and My word.
IntoxiChrist: ...Now - what are you wearing?

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