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Gay Theology - part 2
by: AmazingLarry
Posted: 05/16/00         Score: 2.6         Votes: 338
This takes up where part 1 left off. She invites me into a chat room with one of her idiot, sheep friends. It was hard to get a word in towards the end, as these religous types tend to like to hear themselves talk. Had I been funnier, this might have been quite humorous. Oh well, such is life. At least it is short.
You have just entered room "kckn4Christ Chat52."
uekiBachi6 has entered the room.
kckn4Christ: AmazingLarry69: He doesn't understand that I used him to get to his hunky son......I want that jock miracle making bitch.
AmazingLarry: Wow...are we gonna orgy?
kckn4Christ: no
kckn4Christ: how can you say all that stuff
kckn4Christ: i mean how can you speak of Christ like that-
AmazingLarry: Because!! Jesus was gay!! Why are you girls so blind??
uekiBachi6: There is no evidence of that.
AmazingLarry: I have so much literature and newsletters that I could send to you. And there is so much scientific evidence!
kckn4Christ: Jesus was not gay-i can look up the verse where it says that homosexuality is wrong
kckn4Christ: well do you believe every tabloid you read
uekiBachi6: Exactly! Jesus never sinned. Why would he tell us not to do something and do it himself?
AmazingLarry: They have some cum found in Jesus' asshole...They carbon dated it and analyzed it....Scientists certified that Jesus must have been a gay man.
kckn4Christ: thats impossible you know why
uekiBachi6: He already went up to Heaven...there was no physical body left on earth.
kckn4Christ: becaus eour Lord and Savious rose from the dead and you wont find his bones in a tomb or in the ground because he is alive and well in Heaven
AmazingLarry: How do you know Jesus never banged another man? They left out 30 years of his life in the bible...You know why? Because he was gay!! He was screwing every male thing that moved.
uekiBachi6: HOw could they leave out 30 years? He died at 33.
kckn4Christ: how do we know-its called common sense 4 one thing-it says that being gay was wrong therefore Jessu could not of been gay because he lived a perfect life to be a perfect sacrifice and to be the ultimate sacrifice 4 our sins
AmazingLarry: Maybe it was 20....I'm not good at fucking math...Anyways, they left out a good chunk out of his life. Why? Because, he was a true, blue homosexual male!! He loved home decorating and gardening! And he loved dancing......
uekiBachi6: HOME DECORATING??? Where does it say that??
kckn4Christ: if you were to die right now where would you go-and dont say somthin stupid-
AmazingLarry: Hey, Jesus didn't write the Bible...Neither did God...It was a bunch of homophobes who wanted to hide 'the truth'....Revelation Day is coming soon girls...I suggest you get butch haircuts and start wearing flannel shirts...Maybe bulk up some.
kckn4Christ: just tell me a simple answer if you dont mind sir
kckn4Christ: whats ure answer
AmazingLarry: I'm going to Heaven!! And I'm gonna get laid with all the famous gay angels!! The guy from the Brady Bunch! John the Baptist! That dead guy from the Bee-Gees!
kckn4Christ: you wont say anythin to change my beliefs because mine are the real truth
kckn4Christ: have you ever been saved?
AmazingLarry: Why do you think Heaven is in the sky?? Because it's near a rainbow!! Get it???
kckn4Christ: and asked Jesus to come into yourt heart
kckn4Christ: your jokes arent funny to me-i just want you to answer my questions
AmazingLarry: Yeah, kinda. I did a sex role-play with one of my lovers...He was a 'fireman' and he came and 'saved me'.
kckn4Christ: seriously-have you
AmazingLarry: I don't need to be saved.....I need to be laid!!!
AmazingLarry: Preferably by a nice Christ loving boy.
AmazingLarry: So, has this intervention gone as you had planned?
kckn4Christ: "Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. If anyones name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire." Rev. 20:14-15
kckn4Christ: actually it has gone like i thought it would
kckn4Christ: thats the sad thing
kckn4Christ: thats why Christ died for you--he loves everyone so much that he wanted them to be able to bve with the Father through Him
kckn4Christ: to save us from Hell
AmazingLarry: So, you wanna cyber now?
AmazingLarry: But, you have to pretend you are a guy.
kckn4Christ: eternity is a LONG time-
kckn4Christ: think about it
kckn4Christ: being engulfed in flames--once your heart stopd and you see God-theres no turning back-its too late
kckn4Christ: this is your chance
AmazingLarry: And my cock is real LONG....I bet Jesus is smiling right now....Hoping to get a piece of my ass...
kckn4Christ: im asking you if you want to know Jesus Christ and allow Him to become Lord and Savious of your life?
kckn4Christ: no Jesus is crying because your His son and you wont let him coem into your heart
kckn4Christ: dont wait until its too late
kckn4Christ: your never promised another day
AmazingLarry: Oh, I'll cum into his heart...and his face, nose, ears, mouth...any available orrifice.
kckn4Christ: let God come into your life and bring you joy and peace thats indescribable
AmazingLarry: Where the Hell are you getting all these cliche bumpersticker lines from?
kckn4Christ: remember that verse--your denying Him-
kckn4Christ: remember the 2nd part of that verse
kckn4Christ: but the thing is is that God can forgive you-he wants to
kckn4Christ: but you have to go to him
kckn4Christ: have you ever burnt yourself
kckn4Christ: ?
AmazingLarry: Yeah, I look a lighter and used the flame to tingle my asshole....A very erotic thing...
kckn4Christ: well im sorry that you missed this chance to come to know God
kckn4Christ: hopefully you will live long enough to get another-
kckn4Christ: but its late and ive got church in the morning so im going to bed
kckn4Christ: im praying for you and God loves you and will forgive you
kckn4Christ: onyl you know your destination
kckn4Christ: and God knows
AmazingLarry: Just remember this verse my child...
kckn4Christ: is your name written in His book of life--dont make God say-"Depart from me.."
kckn4Christ: good night
kckn4Christ: bye tiff
uekiBachi6: I'm going to pray too...I'm tired and my brain's numb, so sorry I haven't contributed to this conversation. Good night, everybody.
kckn4Christ: pray for him tiff
uekiBachi6: Bye Rach
uekiBachi6: I will
AmazingLarry: Are you girls going to dyke out now?
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