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Say Yes to Drugs
I'm Not Really Smart
by: NYCockExchange
Posted: 09/19/02         Score: 2.7         Votes: 116
When people just fucking ADMIT that they're not all that smart, that makes my job as a baiter all that much easier.
Kome Platano: r u for real?
Kome Platano
: nice profile
NYCockExchange
: Um, no. I'm a computer-generated chat, designed to get you off.
NYCockExchange: And sell you stuff.
Kome Platano: ok, try it
NYCockExchange
: DUDE. I was fucking kidding. Jesus Christ.
Kome Platano: ahahahaha, i know
Kome Platano
: sup girl
NYCockExchange
: Hahaha, I thought you were stupid there for a second, but now I see you are really smart. Mmmm.
NYCockExchange: Not much is "sup". You know... just sitting here, fondling my rigid member and soaking the chair.
Kome Platano: i'm not really smart
NYCockExchange
: Now there is a surprise....
NYCockExchange: Are you sure you're not smart?
Kome Platano: i'm just kiddin
NYCockExchange
: I mean, fuck, buddy.... Don't tell me my initial impressions of you were completely off-target. Now I feel stupid.....
NYCockExchange: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! WHAT A BLOW TO MY SELF-ESTEEM!!!
Kome Platano: why is that
NYCockExchange
: I'm a fucking moron. 13 years old and I have to go through at least 80 more years as a feeble-minded, stupid bitch.
Kome Platano: dont say that about yourself
Kome Platano
: i'm sure you're pretty smart
Kome Platano
: u just playin yourself
NYCockExchange
: People will meet me, and say, "Yeah, she's just about as sharp as a marble." And then they will try to get me drunk and fuck the shit our of me behind the 7-11 with cheap vodka and no contraceptives.
NYCockExchange: No.... I'm not playin' myself. I'm playin' with myself.
Kome Platano: oh i c
Kome Platano
: that's wha ti was thinkin too
NYCockExchange
: You know... buildin' a tower, pitchin' a tent, makin' the snake dance, etc. That's what I am all about right now.
Kome Platano: nice
NYCockExchange
: You were thinking about playing with myself, too? Awesome! Sometimes, even my two hands aren't enough. Sometimes, length sucks.
NYCockExchange: Thanks!
Kome Platano: i wish i could join
Kome Platano
: what u mean length
NYCockExchange
: Oh, yeah....me too. You have NO idea. I'm thinking of how you might help stroke me up and down.
NYCockExchange: Oh, length?
NYCockExchange: I mean.... my labia, of course. Or what some people call foreskin.
Kome Platano: what, your guy can't give u enought, is that what u mean
Kome Platano
: o i c
Kome Platano
: man, you're on heat right now arent u
NYCockExchange
: What guy? I am single.... but that's probably I'm not down with the hombre-hombre action.
NYCockExchange: Yeah, I'm in heat, but I'm not a bitch in heat, if you know what I mean.
Kome Platano: hold up, r u a guy
Kome Platano
: ?
NYCockExchange
: Huh?? WTF???
NYCockExchange: If I was a guy, I'd be jacking off at the computer right now.
Kome Platano: well, you're talkin about hombre-hombre action
NYCockExchange
: But I'm not. I'm manhandling my groin.
Kome Platano: hahahhaa
Kome Platano
: u a funny girl
NYCockExchange
: Oh, I meant same-sex relationships. You know.... faggy stuff.
Kome Platano: tha's cool, i dont know more than one girl at a time
Kome Platano
:
NYCockExchange: You don't know more than one girl at a time? How does that work?
Kome Platano: my shit is mad hard right now just by talkin 2 u
NYCockExchange
: Do you have a female-related case of amnesia?
NYCockExchange: Oh, totally. Me too.
Kome Platano: u know what i mean
Kome Platano
: so where u from
NYCockExchange
: Actually, I don't know... probably because I am young, stupid, impressionable, very corruptible, and yeah... I don't know what you mean.
Kome Platano: heehee
Kome Platano
: stop sayin that you're stupid
NYCockExchange
: Um, what do you mean, "so where u from"? Are you going to turn down my "cyberpussy" because I am or am not within your time zone?
Kome Platano: what i mean is that i don't handle more than one girl at a time
Kome Platano
: no, i just like to have a sense of where people r
Kome Platano
: cyberpussy... haahaa
NYCockExchange
: Yeah, me either. Stupid bitches start to get jealous, then tell all of their friends your secrets. Like about me, they say shit like, "Oh, there's Dave, I heard about how he agreed to watch gay porn with his girlfriend."
NYCockExchange: That's exactly why I don't handle more than one girl at a time.
Kome Platano: oh, so u just handle one?
NYCockExchange
: Dude... why does it help to know where I am? Do you promise to turn in my general direction when you start to jizz?
NYCockExchange: Yeah, I just handle my own. In fact, I am equipped with a handle.
Kome Platano: o i c what u mean
Kome Platano
: u dont have to tell me where u from, damn, it was just a simple questino
Kome Platano
: so how many fingers u usin
NYCockExchange
: But you are so nice and intelligent! So I will tell you. I was born in the USA somewhere between Florida and Washington.
Kome Platano: that helps alot
NYCockExchange
: Awesome! Glad to be of help.
Kome Platano: thanx!!!
Kome Platano
: so do u look good?
NYCockExchange
: My mom was worried for a while that she couldn't have me. In the county I was born in, they were going to pass legislation that only female children would be allowed to live after birth.
NYCockExchange: Yeah, I look good.
NYCockExchange: By the way, the legislation didn't go through, so here I am!
Kome Platano: well, i dont see why she would worry, cuz u were a girl anyways
NYCockExchange
: Oh, she had her reasons, I'm sure.
NYCockExchange: Anyway, what's on your mind?
Kome Platano: pussy
NYCockExchange
: Er, what did you call me?
Kome Platano: i didn't call u anything, i said pussy is on my mind
NYCockExchange
: I punched this other guy in the face the other day after he called me a pussy. Fuckin' knocked the son of a bitch out COLD. I mean, you just don't call a guy a pussy, you know.
NYCockExchange: Oh, shit.... I didn't realize you were answering me. Sorry.
Kome Platano: umm, did u just say "call a guy a pussy"
Kome Platano
: u are a guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kome Platano
: i knew it
NYCockExchange
: Hey, wait a fucking minute.
Kome Platano: what
NYCockExchange
: You've made a big mistake.
Kome Platano: what is that
NYCockExchange
: Didn't you tell me that you're not really smart?
Kome Platano: i was kiddin
Kome Platano
: why
NYCockExchange
: Because.... my theory is that you only think I'm a guy because you're not really smart.
NYCockExchange: If that's the case, I can understand.
Kome Platano: no, i think you're a guy because that's what u just said
NYCockExchange
: No, no... let me ask you this: Do you take kindly to another guy calling you a pussy?
Kome Platano: no, i knock them out
Kome Platano
: but that's not the point, the point is that you're a dude
NYCockExchange
: Okay, great. 'Cause I feel the same way. That's all I'm saying, you know? And girls can agree that guys shouldn't call other guys pussies.... unless you want to debate me over that.
Kome Platano: na, it's all good
NYCockExchange
: Okay. Whew, I thought we had a misunderstanding there, for a second.
Kome Platano: ok, so what r u finally?
NYCockExchange
: Dude!!! Fuck!! I'm the same thing I've been all along! Did you think I changed genders in the middle of chat?
Kome Platano: i think u did
NYCockExchange
: Um. *looks down* Nope. I'm pretty sure that I haven't changed genders.
Kome Platano: so you r a girl?
NYCockExchange
: Hahaha. If I was a guy, I would have said so at least 4 or 5 times already.
NYCockExchange: Silly boy.
Kome Platano: aight
NYCockExchange
: Alright! So where were we?
Kome Platano: can i see a pic to see how good u look?
Kome Platano
: i dont know where u r, but i'm in my bed
NYCockExchange
: Er, I'm afraid that's impossible at the moment. I'm at my friend's house, so I'm not on my own computer. That is where I keep all of my naked pictures that the chicks ask for.
NYCockExchange: Oooh. Your bed, eh? Got room for two?
Kome Platano: always
Kome Platano
: just come over
NYCockExchange
: Right on. Is it a warm bed?
Kome Platano: chicks huh? so u do like that girl on girl shit?!!!!!!!!!!
Kome Platano
: it's not warm, is hot and on fire
NYCockExchange
: I'm just askin' about your bed, because I get kinda horny in warm beds, and you might wake up with me dry-humping your butt.
NYCockExchange: Yeah, I like that girl-on-girl thing. God bless DVD's.
Kome Platano: hold up, you're too weird, how the fuck u gonna hump my butt, u a girl remember
NYCockExchange
: What do you mean how the fuck am I gonna hump your butt? I'm biologically capable of dry-humping you. ....Unless you want me to wet-hump you....?
NYCockExchange: Dude. GIRLS CAN HUMP TOO.
NYCockExchange: If girls couldn't hump, there would be a lot of gay sex in the world.
Kome Platano: how is that?
Kome Platano
: explain
NYCockExchange
: What's there to explain about rubbing my crotch against your ass-cheeks?
Kome Platano: hahahahahh
NYCockExchange
: I mean, I *can* spread my legs that far.... if I couldn't, that would be troublesome for us both.
Kome Platano: u crazy
Kome Platano
: u too much for a 13 year old
NYCockExchange
: Would you rather have me hump you from the front? Is that it?
Kome Platano: yea, that would be better
NYCockExchange
: Well, okay. I sure as fuck hope you can open your mouth pretty wide, though. I hate biters.
Kome Platano: don't worry about it, i've been doin this for a while now
Kome Platano
: i htink i can handle it
NYCockExchange
: Dude. You're the best.
NYCockExchange: The absolute best.
Kome Platano: why u say that
NYCockExchange
: I just like experience. Um. ...You got a problem with that?
Kome Platano: not at all
Kome Platano
: i like em young
NYCockExchange
: ALRIGHT!!!! Little pig, little pig, let me in!
NYCockExchange: OMFG. You like 'em young?
NYCockExchange: I... never would have guessed!
Kome Platano: never?
Kome Platano
: why u be all sarcastic, and then put a sad face?
NYCockExchange
: I thought you were just using me because you couldn't find any women that were actually physically, mentally, and emotionally mature at the moment. At least someone that has graduated 8th grade!
NYCockExchange: It's NOT a sad face! It's a blush! Just like the red face I'll have when I take you from behind!
Kome Platano: i'm not really usin u, cuz i haven't had sex with u
Kome Platano
: i c
NYCockExchange
: Oh, okay. Well.... you're e-using me, godfuckingdammit!
Kome Platano: what's your name
NYCockExchange
: ...who's your daddy? Is he rich (is he rich) like me?
Kome Platano: r u rich?
NYCockExchange
: Yeah, people call me Rich.
NYCockExchange: But they don't know my real name.
Kome Platano: what is your real name
NYCockExchange
: Wait a minute... we're supposed to be masturbating together... when did this turn into a "Rumplestiltskin" gig?
Kome Platano: just now
NYCockExchange
: But then (accodring to Rumplestiltskin story - rules section 3.48a), I am utterly defeated if someone knows and recites my name.
Kome Platano: yea ok
NYCockExchange
: Then how are you supposed to fuck me, when I am screaming in fairy-tale-monster-getting-fucked-over agony?
NYCockExchange: Do you believe in fairy tales?
Kome Platano: not at all
NYCockExchange
: Well, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL ME SO, GODDAMMIT!!!! Remember, I am young and fragile, and I am supposed to believe all of that stuff so I feel safe from this harsh, cruel world.
NYCockExchange: I'm going to go cry to my parents, now.
Kome Platano: ok
NYCockExchange
: Alright. BRB!
Kome Platano: k
NYCockExchange
: Hey, you ass - did you make my daughter cry just now?
Kome Platano
: i think so
NYCockExchange
: I could scroll up and read the convo myself, but I'd rather not make assumptions based on what you wrote.
NYCockExchange
: Oh. What made her cry?
Kome Platano
: u couldn't be more dramatic, u had to change the font to act like you're your mother
NYCockExchange
: I mean, I got ways of making her cry, myself, if you know what I mean.
Kome Platano
: hahaahaahhahahaha
NYCockExchange
: I'm not her mother. I'm her dad.
Kome Platano
: same thing
NYCockExchange
: Not really. I'm not the one that carried that stupid little kid around in my womb for 9 months and popped her out my cunt.
Kome Platano
: hay cono, ya yo no puedo seguir con esta vaina
NYCockExchange
: Alright, man - at least you were being honest about it. I've got a drink waiting for me, and plenty of rough sex. I'll tell my daughter to shut the fuck up and get back online.
Kome Platano
: aight
NYCockExchange
:
NYCockExchange: My dad is so mean. But whatever. I'll get over it.
Kome Platano: aight
Kome Platano
: well, i'm gonna go to bed now
Kome Platano
: nice talkin to u
NYCockExchange
: And you're gonna help me get over it. FUCK ME!!!
NYCockExchange: You're going to go to bed without cumming? That's rough.
Kome Platano: yup
Kome Platano
: lata
NYCockExchange
: Fuck that. Let's do this! I brought my toys!
Kome Platano: so go ahead, i'll meet u there
NYCockExchange
: Geez, man. How do you expect me to give you a booty call when you display such a nonchalant attitude?
Kome Platano: i dot expect u to
Kome Platano
: i dot know wha tu look like
NYCockExchange
: Huh? You don't need to!! You said!
Kome Platano: yea i dotn need to get off
Kome Platano
: haahaha
NYCockExchange
: Kome Platano: my shit is mad hard right now just by talkin 2 u
NYCockExchange: See? You don't need to know what I look like.
Kome Platano: stop bein a fuckin bitch
NYCockExchange
: I never have been... but do you want me to stop being mean?
Kome Platano: i dont know what do fuck u r bein, i'm just goin to bed right now
Kome Platano
: lata
NYCockExchange
: I can't help it... you were acting SUPER HORNY a little while ago, and now you're running away. ....Do you have a problem "keeping it up"?
Kome Platano: yea, i need viagra
NYCockExchange
: I don't. Sucks to be you.
Kome Platano: girl don't take viagra
NYCockExchange
: Sure they do. It makes chicks horny, too.
Kome Platano: aight dude, lata
NYCockExchange
: And it also helps prevent altitude sickness in both sexes.
NYCockExchange: Hey?
Kome Platano: yea?
NYCockExchange
: I'm done jacking off now. I'm gonna clean the semen off my hands, put my dick back in my pants, and head off to bed. Thanks for your time.
NYCockExchange: I like you a lot. Can we chat again?
Kome Platano: not at all
NYCockExchange
: Why the fuck not?
Kome Platano: cuz i dont fuckin feel lik it
Kome Platano
: now take this warn
Kome Platano
: and this
Kome Platano
: plus this
NYCockExchange
: I don't care about YOUR feelings, though. If I did, I probably wouldn't disgrace you by imagining my hot, steamy jizz dripping down your face and off your chin.
Kome Platano: take this blocked too
NYCockExchange
: NO, NOT THAT!!!!
Previous message was not received by Kome Platano because of error: User Kome Platano is not available.

NYCockExchange: Aww.
Previous message was not received by Kome Platano because of error: User Kome Platano is not available.
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