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God made cum taste like bleach to remind women to do the laundry - Stanhope
Womanly Advice.
by: Jenny
Posted: 05/17/00         Score: 3.1         Votes: 142
I love it when goofy fuckers ask me for sexual advice. He also makes the mistake of sending me a link and password to his NASTY pictures of his deformed dick. Oh, and the link that this guy gives to his photo albulm contains a guestbook. I'm not telling you to flame....But, I am hoping that you do....It's fun!!!!
Mississippi Sr: hey hey
Mississippi Sr: care to chat?
Jenny9956: Cool! Only, if I can ride you like the old Mississippi River!!!
Mississippi Sr: you are the type of girl I have been looking for
Mississippi Sr: heh
Jenny9956: Sweet....I will be your Mississippi River gambling boat!
Mississippi Sr: a/s/l?
Jenny9956: 14 f Wisconsin
Mississippi Sr: ouch
Mississippi Sr: you are young
Mississippi Sr: 18/m/Miss here
Jenny9956: I am young but feisty!
Mississippi Sr: heh
Mississippi Sr: what's the craziest thing you have done?
Jenny9956: I took a shit on a guy once...on accident.
Mississippi Sr: oh man
Mississippi Sr: that is worse than anything I've done
Jenny9956: Funny thing was, he didn't really care.
Mississippi Sr: how could he not care?
Jenny9956: He just shoved the shit off of his chest and kept on banging me.
Mississippi Sr: oh it was during sex?
Jenny9956: Yeah.
Mississippi Sr: my gf and I dared each other to scan pics of ourselves and post them on a website
Jenny9956: Wow...that is very daring.
Mississippi Sr: yeah it is
Mississippi Sr: but we did it
Jenny9956: Wow...I am impressed.
Jenny9956: Mark Twain would be proud.
Mississippi Sr: hehe
Mississippi Sr: shut up with the River crap
Jenny9956: Hey, I am the expert in crap, remember?
Mississippi Sr: yeah
Mississippi Sr: heh
Mississippi Sr: a few girls from school told me they saw the website the other day
Jenny9956: What is the website?
Mississippi Sr: heh
Mississippi Sr: you can't laugh
Jenny9956: Okay.
Mississippi Sr: let me find it
Mississippi Sr: http://www.zing.com/album/password.html?id=4294469595&pwd=&dest=/album/?id=4294469595
Mississippi Sr: and you better tell me your favorite pic #
Jenny9956: What's the password?
Mississippi Sr: dare
Jenny9956: Where's your girlfriend?
Mississippi Sr: what do you mean?
Jenny9956: my gf and I dared each other to scan pics of ourselves and post them on a website
Mississippi Sr: oh, were is her pics?
Jenny9956: Yeah...I love yours....Now I want to see hers...
Jenny9956: Pic 3 is my fav.!!!
Mississippi Sr: can't show you
Mississippi Sr: only I can show you mine, she shows hers
Jenny9956: Oh well...Bye.
Mississippi Sr: wait
Mississippi Sr: why do you want to see her's so bad
Jenny9956: I am bi-sexual.
Mississippi Sr: and I am part of your interests right?
Mississippi Sr: hence bi
Mississippi Sr: 2
Jenny9956: Yes....but I wanted to see her as well....Since you cannot show me, you obviously do not trust me. Without trust there is nothing.
Mississippi Sr: no
Mississippi Sr: I just don't have her password
Jenny9956: Now you are just lying to me....
Jenny9956: I feel betrayed.
Mississippi Sr: huh?
Mississippi Sr: I really don't know the password
Jenny9956: Well, then you must have the pics.....It is your girlfriend after all.
Mississippi Sr: yeah I have them
Mississippi Sr: printed out
Mississippi Sr: not on my computer
Mississippi Sr: hey can you help me with something?
Mississippi Sr: my gf wants me to give her oral but I've never done it before and kinda need some tips
Jenny9956: Okay....grab a pad of paper and a notebook...
Mississippi Sr: heh
Mississippi Sr: funny
Jenny9956: Okay.....first, spit in her pussy.....helps to get things started...
Jenny9956: If you can't spit, then just pour some water or soda in there.....if she gets mad, pretend it was an accident.
Mississippi Sr: wait
Mississippi Sr: will they not normally spread?
Jenny9956: Depends....she might be pretty dried out at the time....
Jenny9956: Plus, it's just very erotic to spit lugees into your girl's snatch.
Jenny9956: She will most likely cum after your saliva hits.......
Jenny9956: Are you getting all of this?? She will thank you later...
Mississippi Sr: yeah
Jenny9956: Okay...next jam a spoon into her cunt and say something about 'Eating all the pudding'....It will add levity to the situation...She will think you are funny and sexy. Her friends will eye you with admiration and lust.
Mississippi Sr: what?
Mississippi Sr: this is crap
Mississippi Sr: her friends won't be there
Jenny9956: No, but she will tell them all about your sexual adventures.
Mississippi Sr: oh
Jenny9956: Okay, after you take out the spoon, go grab a Super Soaker....keep in mind it cannot be any old water gun....It MUST be a Super Soaker.....Make sure it is filled with your cum...Spend several nights beforehand jacking off into it....Next, say something witty like 'Stick Em Up!' and point the cum filled Super Soaker at her and spray her in the face.
Mississippi Sr: screw you
Mississippi Sr: you are full of it
Jenny9956: What!!??
Jenny9956: Okay, fine. I guess you don't want my good advice or hot cyber sex.....
Jenny9956: I was going to SCREW YOU but forget it now...
Mississippi Sr: good one
Mississippi Sr: bye
Jenny9956: Please stay...I have so much more good advice...
Jenny9956: Grab a green Crayola Magic Marker and start coloring your girl-friend's pussy....Stay between the lines.....When you are done, look surprised and say: "Holy Shit, you have a fungus on your pussy!!!" Then call 911 and watch the erotic sparks fly.

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