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STOP BAITING MINORS!!
Poop Is Funny!
by: Doug Stanhope
Posted: 06/08/01         Score: 3.0         Votes: 142
This one hits all the regular beats and includes poop, which is always, always funny.
bedlam000: hey there. what's up?
Doug Stanhope
: Me, like a flagpole!
Doug Stanhope: Done a ton of meth.
bedlam000: how does it make you feel?
Doug Stanhope
: Like killing a hooker.
Doug Stanhope: How old are you?
bedlam000: 24
Doug Stanhope
: Sweet!
bedlam000: u?
Doug Stanhope
: 13
Doug Stanhope: 14 in June
Doug Stanhope: How big is your cock???
bedlam000: 7 inches, but thick.
Doug Stanhope
: Got a pic?
bedlam000: not on this system. you?
Doug Stanhope
: Nope.
Doug Stanhope: Got one on a site?
bedlam000: checking to see if it's still there. what about you?
bedlam000
: in the meantime, tell me what you look like (details)....
bedlam000
: ... and what you're wearing.
bedlam000
: sorry, can't find it.
Doug Stanhope
: k
Doug Stanhope: I look like Nancy from the comic strip!
bedlam000: what's that?
Doug Stanhope
: I'm wearing CareBear footy pajamas with the ass flap in the back.
bedlam000: what do you look like, since i don't know nancy
Doug Stanhope
: Hot and sweet and ready to get jiggy!
bedlam000: measurements?
Doug Stanhope
: 8 hard.
bedlam000: i got a bathrobe on.
bedlam000
: that's all
Doug Stanhope
: Well take it off. It's blocking your ass.
bedlam000: it's off. what do you want to do to me?
Doug Stanhope
: Do you have lotion?
bedlam000: yeah, several kinds
Doug Stanhope
: Get the kind that won't effect your insides too bad.
Doug Stanhope: Now grease up real good.
Doug Stanhope: Get the ass good. Just in case.
bedlam000: you should put it on me.
bedlam000
: or do you like to watch.
Doug Stanhope
: Whatever you like.
bedlam000: watch.
Doug Stanhope
: What do your parents do?
bedlam000: work
Doug Stanhope
: No, I mean in bed?
bedlam000: dunno
bedlam000
: dont want to know
Doug Stanhope
: My dad usually fucks her in the ass and then pounds off on her asscheeks.
Doug Stanhope: Maybe we could do that?
bedlam000: you going to play with my ass at all?
Doug Stanhope
: Oh ya.
bedlam000: putting on lotion....
Doug Stanhope
: Lay down on your belly and put all the lotion on your ass.
bedlam000: it makes my cock hard putting it on.
bedlam000
: spreading my legs....
bedlam000
: using two fingers to put it on, and probing my ass too...
bedlam000
: help me put it on.
Doug Stanhope
: Ok, my cock is getting real hard as I put lotion on your ass..
Doug Stanhope: Are you ready?
bedlam000: you haave any toys?
Doug Stanhope
: I take my big fat uncut cock, flick the beetles off it and plunge it in your ass.
bedlam000: start slow
Doug Stanhope
: You can feel your blood teeming with the HIV as atear up your dirty backside!
Doug Stanhope: I tear*
Doug Stanhope: You feel the walls of your rectum being torn as you begin to shit yourself.
Doug Stanhope: The smell make me crazy and I start to blow my load.
Doug Stanhope: Unfortunately there is poop clogging up my pisshole and my load backfires, exploding one of my nuts!
Doug Stanhope: Did you come yet?
Doug Stanhope: I need some play here.
Doug Stanhope: hellooooo?
bedlam000: ummmm, you're pretty fucked up.
Doug Stanhope
: My pussy is getting wet but I need you to put me over the top.
bedlam000: you a herme
Doug Stanhope
: No, this is all fantasy.
Doug Stanhope: If you don't like it, tell me what you want changed.
bedlam000: i lost my hard on with that poop stuff
bedlam000
: and getting my ass wrecked
bedlam000
: altough it was funny
Doug Stanhope
: Funny? It's usually the only way I can get a nut.
Doug Stanhope: Maybe it's the meth.
Doug Stanhope: Anyway... lets get back to fucking!
bedlam000: ok
bedlam000
: you a girl?
bedlam000
: or a guy?
Doug Stanhope
: Sure. Now eat my pussy.
bedlam000: tell me about your pussy
Doug Stanhope
: It looks like Rocky's eye after the fight its so swollen for you.
Doug Stanhope: Now eat my ass.
bedlam000: ok...
Doug Stanhope
: tell me about it.
bedlam000: hows it feel?
Doug Stanhope
: Like when I had worms.
bedlam000: i like rimming it first, then prodding it apart with two fingers
Doug Stanhope
: Maybe I should eat your ass instead. I'm feeling gassy.
bedlam000: ok
bedlam000
: you going to eat it?
bedlam000
: what do you like about my ass?
Doug Stanhope
: *Holds you down. With one hand pinching my nose shut, I put my dolly down and enter your ass with my tongue.*
Doug Stanhope: Mmmmmmm.
Doug Stanhope: You don't wipe very well.
bedlam000: sorry
bedlam000
: go for a reacharound
Doug Stanhope
: You taste like black cock. Whats that all about?
bedlam000: dunno
Doug Stanhope
: Ok, I reach around and feel your cock.
Doug Stanhope: Its length is inferior to mine and I know I am right to be in the drivers seat.
bedlam000: you like it?
Doug Stanhope
: "Are you ready to party, little lady?" as fear mounts in your eye and a swelling starts near your gaping sphincter.
bedlam000: ok
Doug Stanhope
: I stick my syphlitic man cock in your shit pipe.
Doug Stanhope: I plows through into your liver and you begin to hemmorage.
bedlam000: bummer
Doug Stanhope
: I pull my cock out and ask you how it feels to be the little girl..
bedlam000: great
Doug Stanhope
: I squat over you as you try to speak, blood gurgling from your mouth.
Doug Stanhope: I let loose with a stream of wormy ass vomit into your mouth.
Doug Stanhope: You start to come.
bedlam000: ok
Doug Stanhope
: Your mother walks in and asks what you want for dinner and notices your mouth is full of my feces.
Doug Stanhope: You get scolded.
Doug Stanhope: It make syou hard again.
bedlam000: so, i gotta admit....
bedlam000
: ... you're pretty funny, but are also in serious need of counseling.
bedlam000
: get you off the meth
Doug Stanhope
: I'm pretty funny and articulate for a 13 year old girl, huh?
bedlam000: you are not 13
Doug Stanhope
: I only do the meth to get me through the pain of the abortion.
Doug Stanhope: Yes I am.
bedlam000: you are not a girl
Doug Stanhope
: I only had the abortion cuz I had done so much meth.
Doug Stanhope: Its a vicious circle.
Doug Stanhope: Like you really want a girl, you fucking homo.
Doug Stanhope: C'mon. Who are you kidding.
Doug Stanhope: You want a child, you fucking rapist.
bedlam000: when and if you grow up, you'll understand what all a woman can do
Doug Stanhope
: You are a pedophile. And you call me sick?
Doug Stanhope: Why don't you just go get fucked in a bath house and get it over with rather than rape children?
Doug Stanhope: Are your parents still molesting you or is it just the memory that drives you to young girls?
Doug Stanhope: Did you finally leave?
bedlam000: no. laughing at your sorry ass.
Doug Stanhope
: Oh, you'll laugh.
bedlam000: like i said, at least you're funny.
Doug Stanhope
: The whole world will laugh. Thats why they call it baiting, ninny.
bedlam000: so how old are you -- really?
Doug Stanhope
: 4.
Doug Stanhope: I bet you're even hornier.
Doug Stanhope: Fucking child molester.
Doug Stanhope: You'll see how people like child molesters, Mr Bedlam.
Doug Stanhope: I would smash that computer into little tiny peices if I were you. And then do the same to your genitals.
For more intellectually advanced logs by Doug Stanhope, click here
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