Baiting.org
Still Waiting for the Apocalypse
Limited Warranty
by: NYCockExchange
Posted: 09/10/00         Score: 2.7         Votes: 56
Batteries not included. Please allow 6-8 days for delivery. All sales final.
fatmancrill: hello there
NYCockExchange: Hey there.
fatmancrill: i'm 20
NYCockExchange: I'm 13.
fatmancrill: you probably think i'm too old then don't you?
NYCockExchange: Nope. I think you're just right.
fatmancrill: oh you like older men?
NYCockExchange: Of course.
fatmancrill: cool. what attracts you to older men?
NYCockExchange: Big fat cock. Just kind of points their way, like a compass, and I go right to 'em.
fatmancrill: cool. mine is eight inches long
NYCockExchange: Your compass?
fatmancrill: my cock
NYCockExchange: Oh. Okay. Does it show magnetic north, and point to older guys?
fatmancrill: my cock
fatmancrill: ?
NYCockExchange: Yeah.
fatmancrill: i just use it for screwing
NYCockExchange: Oh. I'll have to give that a try sometime... Kind of like a Swiss-Army cock.
fatmancrill: yeah.
fatmancrill: how about this, i just put it in your pussy and hump you
NYCockExchange: Hmm. I'm not sure. I'm suddenly interested in a multi-use cock with a lifetime guarantee.
fatmancrill: oh it has multiple uses and i'll guarantee
NYCockExchange: Oh yeah? Tell me about them.
fatmancrill: it's good for humping, sucking, stroking, licking, grabbing, fondling, kissing
NYCockExchange: You can use your cock to lick, kiss, grab, and suck? That's pretty talented.
fatmancrill: i can do everything
NYCockExchange: Super... I'll bet with a little training, your cock could mow the lawn, pick up the kids from school, deliver pizza, get rid of embarassing age spots, and double on saxophone.
fatmancrill: can you help me train?
NYCockExchange: Sure. But let's get to that lifetime guarantee. Could you write me up a little "Lifetime Guarantee" for your cock? That would be cute, and it would turn me on.
fatmancrill: This cock has been inspected and to our knowledge has no defects. If however anytime during your ownership of this cock, a defect occurs, we promise to fix the problem completely at no cost to you. We are confident that no amount of wear and tear will damage this product as long as you live. But if it does it will be rectified free of charge
NYCockExchange: That's quite a cock you have, there. Does it come with an owner's manual?
fatmancrill: there's on site training
NYCockExchange: Oh, I see... A hands-on kind of deal?
fatmancrill: hands on is part of the training
NYCockExchange: Good, good! OSHA would be pleased!
fatmancrill: so will you
NYCockExchange: Occupational Schlong Handling Association, that is.
fatmancrill: you a member?
NYCockExchange: I've got a member!
fatmancrill: what do you mean?
NYCockExchange: Just call me the President of the Occupational Schlong Handling Association. I'm well-trained in that department, on behalf of all of the MasterBaiting I do.
fatmancrill: are you a guy?
NYCockExchange: Huh?!?
fatmancrill: nevermind
NYCockExchange: Okay... Back to this cock of yours, then.
fatmancrill: what about it?
NYCockExchange: From what you've written, it appears to be of the finest craftsmanship. German engineering, Intel inside, and made of 100% USDA approved Grade A beef.
fatmancrill: it is indeed. lotsa beef
NYCockExchange: Would you like a vaginal guarantee?
fatmancrill: yes
NYCockExchange: This vagina has been approved by the Baiting Commission. It rates 4.5 of 5 in our quality-assurance scales. This vagina is covered by a 50-year warranty (see package for details), and follows all of the regulations imposed by OSHA.
fatmancrill: and what happens after 50 years?
NYCockExchange: It becomes a 50-year-old pussy. But wait, there's more!
NYCockExchange: This warranty is void in all regions outside of the United States of America, and is subject to change. Despite the best efforts and intentions of the manufacturers, this vagina has been shown in some tests to display penile features at over 6,000 feet elevation.
fatmancrill: no thanks. putting restrictions on it. screw that
NYCockExchange: Therefore, it is recommended to keep Vaseline (TM) or a big mouthful of spit in case of product malfunction. Please see the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) homepage at http://www.cs.utk.edu/~bartley/other/RAINN.html for more details.
NYCockExchange: *sigh* The woe of a limited warranty.
fatmancrill: limited is the truth
NYCockExchange: It can be replaced in case of malfunction, though. Does that not matter to you?
fatmancrill: don't talk to me
NYCockExchange: I mean, if something goes wrong, I could get you a warm jar of spaghetti. Or something.
NYCockExchange: But then you'll have to suck my cock out of gratitude.
fatmancrill: you are a guy you dumb little faggot
NYCockExchange: *sigh* I have the Firestone of vaginas.


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