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Drunken Shirt Removal
by: NYCockExchange
Posted: 08/28/00         Score: 3.1         Votes: 84
This proves my theory that beer & buttons don't mix.
badOZZ187: do u want to cyber with a man
NYCockExchange: Just as much as you do!
badOZZ187: what do u look like
NYCockExchange: Well, I'm average height, with average hair and eyes.
badOZZ187: would u like to suck my cock
NYCockExchange: Yeah, we could do that to each other.
NYCockExchange: We should get naked first, or something.
badOZZ187: strip for me
NYCockExchange: You gonna get naked, too?
badOZZ187: i will we can do togher
badOZZ187: together
NYCockExchange: Okay. Should I get another beer first?
badOZZ187: sure
NYCockExchange: Alright... I'll be right back. Get naked in the meantime.
badOZZ187: ok i will
NYCockExchange: *chuggin' beer*
badOZZ187: are u naked to
NYCockExchange: No, I need to get undressed.
badOZZ187: start to take it off while i drink my last beer i just bought
NYCockExchange: Okay. Hey, are you drinking your beer through a straw?
badOZZ187: no way i chug or shotgun them
NYCockExchange: Oh. Guys aren't supposed to drink with a straw, huh?
badOZZ187: do u drink urs through a straw
badOZZ187: i never do
badOZZ187: i reather suck on tits or pussy then a straw
NYCockExchange: Yeah, me too. I should get rid of my straws.
badOZZ187: cool are u naked now
NYCockExchange: No. I'm trying, though. I'm just really drunk.
badOZZ187: i want to see what u look like
badOZZ187: what size are ur tits
NYCockExchange: They're about as big as melons.
NYCockExchange: Except, a lot smaller.
badOZZ187: take ur shirt off so i can suck then
NYCockExchange: Damn.
badOZZ187: what
NYCockExchange: I don't seem to have the dexterity to undo the buttons on my shirt.
badOZZ187: what are u going to do
NYCockExchange: I think I can get a lighter, then maybe burn the holes so they are bigger. Then the buttons will come out easier.
badOZZ187: ok hurry up i want to really fuck u
NYCockExchange: Alright... It might help if I poured some lighter fluid on my shirt, so the cloth will burn faster.
badOZZ187: don't burn ur self
NYCockExchange: Okay. I'm back, with lighter fluid. I poured a little on my shirt.
badOZZ187: did it work
NYCockExchange: I'm gonna try lighting it right now... ready?
badOZZ187: ok go for it
NYCockExchange: Fuck!! Dammit! That wasn't lighter fluid again, it was water! Now I can't light it!
badOZZ187: just rip it off
NYCockExchange: I'll have to change shirts. BRB
badOZZ187: just leave it off
NYCockExchange: I'm back!!
badOZZ187: good what now
badOZZ187: how many beers have u had
NYCockExchange: It's the same shirt, different color. I bought 'em on sale.
NYCockExchange: I forget how many beers I've had.
badOZZ187: what do u want to do now
NYCockExchange: I want cybersex. We should both get naked.
badOZZ187: ok get naked then i am waiting for u
NYCockExchange: Okay. ....Aw, shit.
NYCockExchange: Dammit.
badOZZ187: what did u do now
NYCockExchange: Nothing. I'm just having problems undoing these buttons, because I am drunk.
badOZZ187: rip the buttons off
NYCockExchange: I'm not strong enough, because I'm only 13.
NYCockExchange: Wait, I'll just cut them off with a long, razor-sharp knife!
badOZZ187: good that will work not cut ur tits
NYCockExchange: Aww! Thanks for watching out for my tits. Let me get the knife.
badOZZ187: ok
NYCockExchange: I'm back! With a really fuckin' big, goddamn-sharp knife. I'm gonna cut the fuck out of these buttons!
badOZZ187: go for it but watch out for ur tits
NYCockExchange: Okay, here goes....
badOZZ187: did it work
NYCockExchange: OUCH!!!
badOZZ187: what
NYCockExchange: I just sliced my hand open! Now I'm getting blood on the keyboard!
badOZZ187: cool how bad is it.can u see the bones
NYCockExchange: No... but I can't see some of the keys on the keyboard, though. They're blood-smeared.
badOZZ187: that good a little blood never hurt anyone
NYCockExchange: Okay, so it won't bother you if I accidentally sliced a gash into one of my tits?
badOZZ187: i would laugh my ass off and then ask u if u were ok
NYCockExchange: That would be really romantic. Just thinking about it gets me really horny.
NYCockExchange: So I'm going to try to cut the buttons off again.
badOZZ187: good
badOZZ187: did it work
NYCockExchange: Fuck!! My hands are bleeding all over the knife handle. It's slippery.
NYCockExchange: In other words... no, it didn't work.
badOZZ187: kept trying
badOZZ187: put something on ur hand to stop the blood
NYCockExchange: You think so? Hey, that's really smart! I'll wash it off, put a band-aid on it, then change shirts. BRB!
badOZZ187: oh what fun
NYCockExchange: Okay! I'm back!
badOZZ187: so how are u now
NYCockExchange: I'm good... very, very horny, though.
NYCockExchange: I got another beer.
NYCockExchange: *chug, chug*
badOZZ187: i stop drinking beer i am drinking jack daniels now beer has no affect on me
NYCockExchange: Oh yeah, chug it baby! I'll work on taking my shirt off.
badOZZ187: i have one bottle all ready
NYCockExchange: Wow... That's a lot! You're more of a man than I am!
NYCockExchange: ...almost.
badOZZ187: ur a man now
NYCockExchange: Huh?!
badOZZ187: u said i was more of a man than u
NYCockExchange: Yeah, because you can drink serious amounts of alcohol.
badOZZ187: it was a joke
badOZZ187: i have been drinking since i was 14 i can hold my alcohol
NYCockExchange: Yeah? How old are you now?
badOZZ187: 22
NYCockExchange: God, a man who can handle his alcohol really turns me on.
NYCockExchange: Okay, I'm going to get these damned buttons off one way or another. Got any ideas?
badOZZ187: try to rip them
NYCockExchange: *trying to rip them*
badOZZ187: u can do it
NYCockExchange: *tries harder* ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!
badOZZ187: u can do it think of all the beer i can give u
badOZZ187: or a big cock
NYCockExchange: *sigh* I'm too young and not strong enough. But I have an idea.
badOZZ187: what is that
NYCockExchange: I'll go out to the garage, and get one of the old car batteries my dad has in there.
NYCockExchange: Then I'll pour the battery acid on my shirt, and it will dissolve right off!
badOZZ187: cool don't dissolve ur tits off
NYCockExchange: I might be drunk, but I am smart! BRB
badOZZ187: ok
NYCockExchange: I'm back!
badOZZ187: did it work
NYCockExchange: I'm gonna lay the battery on its side, and puncture a hole into the cell wall. Then I can pour the acid out through the hole.
badOZZ187: go for it
NYCockExchange: The acid has corroded my shirt & the buttons!
badOZZ187: cool
badOZZ187: what are u going to do now
NYCockExchange: I accidentally poured some of it on my pants, too, though.
badOZZ187: take them off
NYCockExchange: I don't have to! Now there's a big hole in the front of my pants!
badOZZ187: where at
NYCockExchange: The groin-area.
NYCockExchange: It's great, because now I don't have to pull down my zipper.
badOZZ187: that is good right
badOZZ187: are u nude now
NYCockExchange: Yes! My 10" cock is already poking out of the acid-burnt hole, and it's erect! Just give me the go-ahead, and I'll start stroking it until I shoot hot, sticky semen all over the place!
badOZZ187: i though u were a 13 year old female why do u have a cock
NYCockExchange: Ooops. I didn't mean to type that... it's just that some of the keys are bloody and I can't see them right.
badOZZ187: are u sure
NYCockExchange: Yeah... let me wipe off the keyboard real quick, K?
badOZZ187: k
NYCockExchange: qwixibrgjssuckmyfuckingcockubhebvjflbkassholedhdkuhcvdhvj
NYCockExchange: There - one good wipe got rid of all of the blood!
NYCockExchange: Let's cyber now.
badOZZ187: ok u go first
NYCockExchange: OUCH!!! FUCK!!
badOZZ187: hey my girl friend just called and wants me to come over sorry talk to u later
NYCockExchange: It's okay, I just spilled battery acid all over my fucking cock, and it hurts really bad!!
NYCockExchange: Fuck... you wouldn't think a 38-year old guy would make a stupid mistake like that, would you?
NYCockExchange: What? You're warning me, as I sit here in pain?

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