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Teabag Tales: Part One
by: NYCockExchange
Posted: 08/15/03         Score: 3.2         Votes: 45
I got interrupted with a phone call while working on this one, so there's no "proper" ending. There is a sequel, I'll post it later.
lickermgr: u wanna see?
NYCockExchange: Huh? I can see just fine. Have you ran into many people online claiming to have a braille keyboard and braille monitor?
NYCockExchange: No? I haven't, either.
lickermgr: no i wanted to know if u wanted to see my cock
NYCockExchange: Maybe. ...Would I be seeing it on webcam, or would you send me a picture?
lickermgr: pic
NYCockExchange: What angle is the picture taken from?
lickermgr: side and front ive got more than one
NYCockExchange: Side and front? :- How typical... I got tired of masturbating to side and front pictures a long time ago. Is that all you got?
NYCockExchange: ...I mean, I guess it'll work in the spirit of "any port in a storm". But I was just really hoping for something different today.
lickermgr: what you lookin for?
NYCockExchange: I'm looking for the elusive "teabag angle". Do you have anything like that?
lickermgr: and thats from where underneath?
NYCockExchange: Yes, it's from underneath. ...You really don't have to do this for me, you know - I'm sure there are a lot of other 13-year-old girls out there besides me who still think the front-and-side shots are the best thing in the world since birth control pills.
lickermgr: well i didnt take one like that yet but i will just 4 u i added u to my buddy list and as soon as i take it ill send it ok?
NYCockExchange: Well.... ..... ....Alright, I guess that's okay. If you're too busy to take a picture for me right now, I can certainly understand. I'll bet you didn't expect to come across such a demanding 13-year-old girl like me, and you weren't prepared for such specific requests.
NYCockExchange: That's fine, though - I'll try not to hold it against you in the future.
lickermgr: yes this is true
NYCockExchange: How long?
lickermgr: ill see
lickermgr: maybe not very
lickermgr: cock hard or semi?
NYCockExchange: If it's "not very" long, it doesn't matter if it's hard or semi. So I'll give you some flexibility there.
lickermgr: ty
lickermgr: no i thought you were asking how long youd have to wait
lickermgr: my cock is 6 inches
lickermgr: 5 1/2 thick
NYCockExchange: Oh, man. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. So, same answer, right?
lickermgr: ok
NYCockExchange: Okay, what?
lickermgr: i got one wanna see it?
NYCockExchange: You do? Sure, send it on over!
lickermgr wants to send file Image3.jpg. NYCockExchange received C:Documents and SettingsMy DocumentsdownloadNYCockExchangeImage3.jpg.
lickermgr: like that or more balls?
NYCockExchange: Umm, thanks - but that wasn't quite what I was looking for. O_o;
NYCockExchange: You got the angle right, you're just way off-center. It's all about the balls. You gotta have your balls sagging down towards the camera, and you gotta see some thigh on each side of the picture. That's how the teabag works.
NYCockExchange: Or the teabag angle, rather.
lickermgr: ok i was working with a webcam and a flashlight
lickermgr: ill try again
lickermgr: im not used to the teabag angle being a guy and al
lickermgr: all
NYCockExchange: Okay. I'll give you props, though - that's pretty technical photography. Just envision a bloated potato sack hanging down from the top of a narrow doorway.
NYCockExchange: With you, standing in the doorway, looking up at that sack.
lickermgr: i understand what u want hon i just have to figure out a way to light it properly
lickermgr: ill try standing instead of sitting next time too
NYCockExchange: Do you have any candles? They might help give your nutsack a warm, romantic glow.
NYCockExchange: Oh, good - you can't teabag while you have your ass planted on a chair.
lickermgr: yes is see that now
lickermgr: ill try that canle thing
NYCockExchange: Oh, okay! ...I take it you've never tea-bagged any 13-year-olds before?
lickermgr: well isnt teabagging something girls do to guys?
lickermgr: or it it just sucking and licking from underneath
NYCockExchange: Well, it's a bit like fucking. Both guys and girls can say, "Yeah, I fucked him/her." Same thing for teabagging: If you were crouched above me, and dunked your nuts into my mouth with semi-squats, you'd be able to say, "I teabagged her!" And, likewise, I could say that I teabagged you.
lickermgr: oh ok i see
NYCockExchange: Awesome.
lickermgr: thanks for the info
NYCockExchange: No problem. ...How old are you, again?
lickermgr: 33
NYCockExchange: I guess it's never too late to jump on the teabagging bandwagon.
lickermgr: no i guess not
NYCockExchange: Indeed. Got that candle lit?
lickermgr: not right now youll see it i promise
NYCockExchange: Okay, great. You know - just between you and me - I always thought it would be really fucking awesome if a nude basketball game was televised, where cameras were installed into the hardwood floor. That way, when a player with the ball came to a stop - looking for a teammate to pass the ball to - with his legs spread and dribbling the ball, you could stare at his nuts jiggling from underneath.
lickermgr: wel thats your fantasy not mine
lickermgr: mine would be a wnba nude game with all those tities bouncing
NYCockExchange: Especially if they were all black, and older. Man, those old negroes have some hangy-ass nutsacks. They could probably pull it off with loose short shorts, too... short and loose, so that perhaps one nut would be dangling out the side. Now that, my teabag-picture-taking benefactor, would be quite the tease.
lickermgr: ill keep that in mind
lickermgr: u might get one like that
NYCockExchange: WNBA nude game? That sounds kind of cool, but they'd need to have male cheerleaders wearing skirts, going "commando" style (or "freeballing", if you prefer). They wouldn't have to do any fancy dances, just straddle the cameras and do semi-squats in a quick, repetitive fashion.
NYCockExchange: Oh, really? I might get one like that? That would be so goddamned cool. Do you have any old 70's college basketball shorts?
lickermgr: no female cheerleaders doing the splits on the cameras and the cameras slide up thier shaved pussies
NYCockExchange: Camera-stuffed cunts? Would the camera be facing inward or outward?
lickermgr: who cares?
lickermgr: hey u got any pics?
NYCockExchange: I do. I just thought it would be neat if a chick had a video camera in her pussy, with that camera facing outwards. She could slide around on a skateboard and take footage from a low position, as if a midget was holding the camera.
lickermgr: doesnt matter what kind
lickermgr: no id rather see her go up and down on the camrea
lickermgr: so send me some pics hun
NYCockExchange: Yeah. They might take a while to find, though... I switched picture directories a few days ago, because I was starting to worry that my pictures weren't well-hidden enough.
lickermgr: ive got 20 minutes before i gota go to work
lickermgr: is that long enough?
NYCockExchange: Eww, that's a little sick. Why would you want to see the inside of a cheerleader's vagina? What if you shoved a camera in there, and there was a bunch of semen in there from when she banged half the team the night before? Or what if she was on the rag, and there were a bunch of stinky blood clots clinging onto her uterus walls?
lickermgr: no a nice clean shaved pussy not a nasty one
NYCockExchange: Or.... both! ...And I guess lighting would be an issue, too. You'd have to shove a Mag light up there with the camera. And if there were any bodily fluids on the inside, all of the suction from pulling the camera and the Mag light out would probably cause the blood clots and/or athlete jizz to come gushing out, all over the lens. I don't know if I'd like to see that - but then again, that's your fantasy - not mine.
NYCockExchange: What kind of a girl shaves her pussy on the inside? That sounds a little extreme to me.
lickermgr: i told you youd see it lit just before it goes in then not then when it comes out it would be lti again
NYCockExchange: I mean, the outside of the pussy - I can understand shaving that; I know I shave mine, from time to time. But just thinking about stubble on the inside of the pussy, with a camera sticking up in there, taking live footage of what looks like sour cream and raspberry jelly smeared on the side of a prickly pink cactus... that's just vile.
lickermgr: would you get off the fucked menstruating cheerleader thing
lickermgr: so whees the pix?
lickermgr: wheres
NYCockExchange: That only makes me think about how you're supposed to find water if you drill a little hole into a cactus. Like how the Boy Scouts teach you, if you're out in the desert and you're all out of water. Hey, what if you shoved the camera (and a Mag light) up in her snatch, along with... say, a DeWalt battery-powered drill? But instead of drilling into a cactus and getting water, you'd scrape the sticky, clumped-up athlete jizz and the stinky blood clots off the side of her prickly, stubble-covered uterus walls... drill a hole into her uterus wall with the DeWalt drill bit... and tore straight through her uterus wall, into her lower intestine?
lickermgr: youre nuts please get off this
NYCockExchange: That would be fucked up, because her shit might pour out of her asshole and right into her pussy. Then you'd have uterus-stubble, clumpy athlete semen, stinky blood clots, and chunks of feces floating around in her pussy. Not to mention a battery-powered DeWalt drill bit, a Mag light, and a video camera.
NYCockExchange: Sorry, I've been typing. I haven't looked for the pictures yet, let me find them.
lickermgr: ok hurry up please
NYCockExchange. lickermgr received C:Documents and SettingsDesktopnaked.jpg.
.
NYCockExchange: I thought this might be a good representation of what you might see in your cheerleader/camera fantasy.
lickermgr: i wanna see your pictures
lickermgr: of you
NYCockExchange: Okay. But did you get that teabag picture taken yet?
lickermgr: send me your face and body
lickermgr: no i will i promise
NYCockExchange: Alright, let me see what I can come up with.
lickermgr: ok
NYCockExchange. lickermgr received .jpg.
. NYCockExchange: I figure this is what a teabag picture should look like... except with you standing up, instead of laying on your back.
NYCockExchange: ...Just as an example. Now, let me find a picture of myself.
lickermgr: yeah no more guys pix ok
NYCockExchange: Sorry that's all I can come up with, then. I'm trying to remember where I hid the files.
lickermgr: well ill ttyl maybe with them pix u want ok?
NYCockExchange: Okay, phone brb
lickermgr: gtg ttyl bye
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