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Fuck A Duck
by: Doug Stanhope
Posted: 05/31/01         Score: 4.0         Votes: 500
The pressure to put up my first bait as an official staffer got to me so a threw this peice of shit up just to get the ball rolling.
evrclr83: hey, age/sex/pic
dirtybagina: Read my fucking profile before you bother me you stupid cocksucker.
evrclr83: sorry i didnt know
evrclr83: damn
dirtybagina: Tell me, how old are you?
evrclr83: 18
dirtybagina: Really? And you wrestle?
evrclr83: yeah
dirtybagina: That is sooooooo hot!
dirtybagina: Just the thought of two guys wrestling makes my pussy sauce up like a chilito.
dirtybagina: Are you real good?
evrclr83: yeah
dirtybagina: Wow. You don't, by any chance, like to cyber do you?
evrclr83: yep
dirtybagina: You dont say much, do you?
dirtybagina: I'd like to cyber but you seem like a mute.
evrclr83: im not... sorry babe
evrclr83: i had 2 go get something
evrclr83: but im back
dirtybagina: So what are you into?
dirtybagina: Other than wearing tights and groping other men?
dirtybagina: (mmmmmm)
evrclr83: i do just about anything baby
evrclr83: what are u into?
dirtybagina: I do it all.
dirtybagina: Oral
dirtybagina: Anal
dirtybagina: Candle wax
dirtybagina: Haiku
evrclr83: anything else?
dirtybagina: Carpet Dogging.
dirtybagina: Hells Bells
dirtybagina: Fecal Doldrums
evrclr83: u ever role play?
dirtybagina: And How!
dirtybagina: Thats my favorite!
evrclr83: really? what are your favorite scenarios?
evrclr83: ?
dirtybagina: Lets do a wrestling?
evrclr83: hmmm.. how so
dirtybagina: Hold on.
evrclr83: k
dirtybagina: Dads on the phone.
evrclr83: k
dirtybagina: Ok, I'm back.
evrclr83: ok
dirtybagina: So lets say I am the first girl to make the wrestling team.
evrclr83: ok... sounds good
dirtybagina: And you dont like it one bit!
evrclr83: hm... whys that?
dirtybagina: Because you are a chauvanist, or at least thats how you make out to be.
evrclr83: ok... i understand
evrclr83: so what does this new female wrestler look like?
dirtybagina: Really you got into wrestling so you could finally wrap your arms around the taught, sweating buttocks of your mouth-watering peers without looking like a homo and I am ruining that for you.
dirtybagina: So you want revenge.
dirtybagina: I look like Dolemite in a leotard.
evrclr83: who?
dirtybagina: Never mind. Lets wrestle!
evrclr83: ok.... babe... ur gonna get it...
dirtybagina: Try me!
evrclr83: i come up 2 u and grab your arms pullin u towards me
dirtybagina: I grab you by the eggbag and twsit. You yelp like a dog under a car tire. The ref calls foul.
dirtybagina: I apologize.
evrclr83: i go over 2 the corner for a sec 2 get things straight
evrclr83: i come back over 2 u
dirtybagina: Your cock is beginning to bulge in your spandex garment.
dirtybagina: All the other wrestlers are jealous.
evrclr83: i cant help but be attracted 2 u
evrclr83: i lunge for u again
dirtybagina: And that is your weaknessQ
dirtybagina: !
evrclr83: im determined 2 beat u
dirtybagina: I see you staring at my sweet package and poke you in the eyes!
dirtybagina: You fall down crying.
evrclr83: i cover them
evrclr83: not knowing what 2 do
dirtybagina: The ref threatens to disqualify me.
dirtybagina: I tell him to lean in so that I can whisper in his ear.
evrclr83: ....?
dirtybagina: He does and I grab his throat and crush his larynx.
dirtybagina: He falls is a pile.
evrclr83: ?
dirtybagina: You shit your pants as you realize this is now a death match.
dirtybagina: On, your feet, homo.
evrclr83: uhm... sorry... but could we change role playin.... im not really egttin anything from this
evrclr83: and im not really gay
dirtybagina: I kick your knee in and you buckle like a fat lady on narrow stairs.
evrclr83: sorry... but im not really into all this violence
dirtybagina: You weep and call for a parent or guardian.
dirtybagina: Nobody comes.
dirtybagina: Huh?
dirtybagina: Not into violence?
dirtybagina: But you're the wrestler?
evrclr83: yeah... durin role playin
evrclr83: i know
dirtybagina: Ok.
dirtybagina: Then you make something up.
evrclr83: im violent when i wrestle... not when im witha chick
evrclr83: what other role playin situations have u done?
dirtybagina: Ok, creampuff, you call the shots.
dirtybagina: No, its your turn.
dirtybagina: I dont want to look like the asshole again.
evrclr83: ok... well first off is there something that u absolutely wont do?
dirtybagina: Nothing.
evrclr83: how about u be a nurse
dirtybagina: I once let a monkey shit in my mouth for a polaroid to win 25 skeeball tickets. I will do anything.
dirtybagina: Ok I'm a nurse.
evrclr83: woah... ok... i dont think we need 2 do that
evrclr83: ok, well im the patient... and i come in for a checkup
dirtybagina: Like you have a monkey.
dirtybagina: Go ahead.
dirtybagina: Oh, Mr Jones, I see here you have an awful case of the creeping gotcha.
dirtybagina: You will need to take off your pants.
evrclr83: really?
dirtybagina: Yes. Really.
evrclr83: whatever u say nurse
evrclr83: u know best
evrclr83: theyre off
dirtybagina: No, I am going to need to take your temperature.
evrclr83: ok nurse
dirtybagina: You know how we do that for the creeping gotcha?
evrclr83: how?
dirtybagina: Fist I am going to need you to get you cock as hard as possible.
dirtybagina: Let me bend over so you can see my freshly shaved parts.
evrclr83: ok nurse...
dirtybagina: Does that make you hard?
evrclr83: mmmm... i enjoy the view
evrclr83: starting 2
dirtybagina: I stick two fingers in myself to make sure you are as hard as you can be.
evrclr83: mmm... almost there nurse
dirtybagina: I suck one of your balls into my mouth. You are as rigid as a Nazi on Parade.
evrclr83: mmm... yes
dirtybagina: Now we must take your temperature.
evrclr83: ok nurse
dirtybagina: I take the thermometer and put in my mouth so its all lubed up.
dirtybagina: I take your cock in my left hand like I was killing a turkey and jam the thermometer down the head til you feel it touch your pelvic bone.
dirtybagina: You jump like a retard sat in a campfire.
evrclr83: woah.....
evrclr83: damn
dirtybagina: You weep like a baby but Doctor knows whats best.
evrclr83: i ask if the nurse could hurry it up
dirtybagina: "Shut your whine-hole, faggy." Says I.
dirtybagina: I try to pull it out but its stuck.
evrclr83: yes nurse
evrclr83: ow
dirtybagina: Only one thing to do now!
evrclr83: ?
dirtybagina: I grab a tack hammer and smash your cock flat, crushing the glass thermometer inside you gutted member.
dirtybagina: You will have to pee out the glass chunks.
dirtybagina: (This would be a good time for you to pee on me)
evrclr83: uhm... what the heck is it with u and violence? and pissin?
dirtybagina: Thats not *violent*. Its *medical*.
evrclr83: i just wanted normal cyber sex
dirtybagina: And it was your fantasy.
evrclr83: i know... but the chicks dont shove a thermometer up my duck then hit it witha hammer
dirtybagina: Your duck?
evrclr83: dick
dirtybagina: Oh, we can do that too if you want.
evrclr83: no thanks
dirtybagina: We're in the barnyard feeding ducks.
evrclr83: .........
evrclr83: i dont think so
dirtybagina: You run out of bread but they're still hungry.
dirtybagina: I take off my top and show you my tits.
Previous message was not received by evrclr83 because of error: User evrclr83 is not available.

dirtybagina: Then a duck fucks you.
Previous message was not received by evrclr83 because of error: User evrclr83 is not available.
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