Baiting.org
My Penis Aches.
Shop Class
by: Doug Stanhope
Posted: 06/09/01         Score: 3.5         Votes: 500
I tried to sound like an intellectual while spelling Pontius Pilot "Ponchas". Fortunately, as I dumb as I am, I can still usually bluff a pedo.
shaggyx669: do you cyber
Doug Stanhope: Did you read my profile?
shaggyx669
: ya, im 21
shaggyx669: and horny as shit
shaggyx669: so you want to cyber
Doug Stanhope: Then why did you ask if I cyber if you already read my profile that specifically says I like to cyber?
Doug Stanhope
: Are you a moron?
shaggyx669
: no, i was just checkin b/c a lot of people say that and dont
Doug Stanhope: Oh, ok.
shaggyx669
: so do you want to
Doug Stanhope: So tell me about your self, Tits McGee.
shaggyx669
: im 6'2, 225, dirty blond hair, blue eyes, built
shaggyx669: i goto a tech school for computers
shaggyx669: anything else you would like to know
Doug Stanhope: Tell me more! I love to learn about people.. and then suck their cocks!
shaggyx669
: what else would you like to know
Doug Stanhope: Where do you live?
Doug Stanhope
: What's the last book you read?
shaggyx669
: i live in virgina
shaggyx669: adventures of huck finn
Doug Stanhope: Whats your favorite part of fucking 13 year old girls?
shaggyx669
: that i know there not dirty, and they scream loud
Doug Stanhope: Did you find that Tom Sawyer to be a Ponchas Pilot type figure and Injun Joe to be a metaphor for death and reawakening?
shaggyx669
: somewhat
shaggyx669: i havnt finished the book yet
Doug Stanhope: Really? Elaborate on what you've discerned thus far and after I'll let you fuck my splatter-gasket.
shaggyx669
: well ive gotten to the part where jim and huck are goin down the mississipi and pick up 2 con artists
Doug Stanhope: Talking literature makes my pussy steam like a vapor maker.
shaggyx669
: ku
shaggyx669: are you horny enough to start to cyber
shaggyx669: cause i know i am
Doug Stanhope: No, first I want to know what parralels you've found the author to be making to the social and political climate of the day.
Doug Stanhope
: Then I want you to tool my fuck-box like a retarded monkey!
shaggyx669
: i think hes saying how people just need to learn that what color you are shouldnt matter when it comes to friends and society as a whole.
shaggyx669: you ready now
Doug Stanhope: Wow. How old are you?
shaggyx669
: 21
Doug Stanhope: And you're just getting around to Huck Finn?
Doug Stanhope
: You must've been real busy the last ten years, huh?
Doug Stanhope
: Anyway, lets cyber...
shaggyx669
: no i read it in high school, but i wanted to read it again, b/c i wasnt payin much attention in that class
shaggyx669: k
shaggyx669: you start
Doug Stanhope: but lets cyber in German!
shaggyx669
: i dont know german
Doug Stanhope: Aber becklecker nicht das sofa!
Doug Stanhope
: Fich mich, du miserbale hurensohn!
shaggyx669
: what
Doug Stanhope: Da! Da!
shaggyx669
: please speak english
Doug Stanhope: Schwienker uten mein glommenfher!
shaggyx669
: please
Doug Stanhope: Oh, well what other language do you speak?
Doug Stanhope
: If you're stupid we could settle for spanish.
Doug Stanhope
: Latin, perhaps?
shaggyx669
: none, i have been outta high school for 3 years and havnt spoken any in a while
shaggyx669: how bout english
Doug Stanhope: I want you to fuck my ass but i'm tired of just typing "Oh, ya fuck my ass".
Doug Stanhope
: BO-ring.
Doug Stanhope
: Make it ineresting or I'm going to have to find some sadistic kraut to corn-pile me in the tongue of the Fatherland.
shaggyx669
: i want u 2 stick 4 fingers in ur pussy and start masterbatin
shaggyx669: tell me how it feels
Doug Stanhope: Booooooring!
shaggyx669
: then ill make it worth ur wild
shaggyx669: how does that sound
Doug Stanhope: I can put a shoe in there and still rattle it around like a spray- paint can.
shaggyx669
: do what u wantr just make it really sexual and tell me how ur doin it, and ill make it worth ur wild
shaggyx669: hows that???
Doug Stanhope: k
Doug Stanhope
: hold.
shaggyx669
: start when ur ready
Doug Stanhope: start jacking off and I'll be with you in a minute.
shaggyx669
: ok
Doug Stanhope: Ok, lets say we're in shop class.
shaggyx669
: ok
Doug Stanhope: Mr Ungerwhild is the teacher but he's drunk again and passed out under the desk.
shaggyx669
: ok
Doug Stanhope: The whole room reeks of urine and its making me HOT!
shaggyx669
: ok
Doug Stanhope: I am showing you how to build a bird cage.
shaggyx669
: ok
Doug Stanhope: I did most of the work for you because I saw you were still reading huck finn at 21 and assumed you were a special student.
shaggyx669
: lol, ok
Doug Stanhope: I am real hot so I decide to get naked.
shaggyx669
: k
Doug Stanhope: Do you like my breast?
shaggyx669
: o hell ya
Doug Stanhope: I tell you we can't fuck til after you finish your birdcage
shaggyx669
: ok
Doug Stanhope: I've told you this everyday for a month but you are a numbskull and can't figure out how to tie your own shoes.
shaggyx669
: ok
Doug Stanhope: I get frustrated and put your head in the vice.
Doug Stanhope
: I clamp it real tight so you can't move.
shaggyx669
: thats gonna hurt
Doug Stanhope: I pull down your pants and carress your hairy balls.
Doug Stanhope
: Yes, it's going to hurt.
shaggyx669
: oo
Doug Stanhope: But sometimes you need a little pain in order to learn a lesson.
shaggyx669
: i know, keep goin
Doug Stanhope: I gently pull your balls back between your legs and tuck them up near your ass-pipe.
shaggyx669
: ok
Doug Stanhope: I get down if front of you, your beautiful cock staring me right in the face.
shaggyx669
: ok
Doug Stanhope: I open in my mouth in a perfect "O" like a blow-up doll.
shaggyx669
: k
Doug Stanhope: "Kelli-Ann, What The Fuck Do You Think You're Doing?"
Doug Stanhope
: It's Mr Ungerwhilde!
Doug Stanhope
: He's awake and surly!
shaggyx669
: ok
Doug Stanhope: He steams over to our work bench and grabs me by the hair!
shaggyx669
: ok
Doug Stanhope: He lays me down on the table, puts a fresh coat of 3-in-1 oil on my potato and slams his fist so far up my cunt I can nibble hairs off his knuckles!
shaggyx669
: ok
Doug Stanhope: You squirm to protect me but he catches you!
Doug Stanhope
: He cuts off you hands with a band saw so you cannot free yourself!
shaggyx669
: ouch thats gonna sux in the future
shaggyx669: n more jerkin off, lol
Doug Stanhope: He takes your balls that are pulled between your legs and yanks them!
shaggyx669
: oww
Doug Stanhope: He plants one foot on your ass and pulls your balls with two hands til the tear free!
Doug Stanhope
: He's a big, bear-like man with foul breath and thick spectacles.
shaggyx669
: ok
Doug Stanhope: The sight of blood spurting from out where your balls used to be sends him spinning into a frenzy.
shaggyx669
: i bet
Doug Stanhope: He pulls out his cock and it looks like an irish shalale, all twisted and knotty, a foot long if an inch .
shaggyx669
: k
Doug Stanhope: Its got an etxtra head on the side of it.
shaggyx669
: eww. lol
Doug Stanhope: Not a penis head, an angry baby head with bad teeth.
shaggyx669
: lol
Doug Stanhope: H e grabs onto your spine with a three-pronged gardening claw and jams his whole cock into your waiting rectum without even giving a moment to pray or screan out.
Doug Stanhope
: You beg him to stop but at the same time you are enjoying it.
shaggyx669
: are you masterbatin
Doug Stanhope: You have always wanted man-cock in your ass but you were scared to admit it.
Doug Stanhope
: In a way, yes I am.
shaggyx669
: how are you masterbatin
Doug Stanhope: Did you come already?
Doug Stanhope
: I am masturbating with my right hand fully wrapped around my cock.
shaggyx669
: not yet that made me stop for a sec. but im cont. now
Doug Stanhope: Mmmmmm.
Doug Stanhope
: Cool.
Doug Stanhope
: Tell me what you'd do to me if I were there.
shaggyx669
: id bend you over and ram my dick in your ass as hard as i could and hold on to your hips so i didnt pull out
shaggyx669: what woudl you doto me if i was there
Doug Stanhope: Wait. I think I just wrote an entire novel. You give me one sentence and try to lob it back into my court?
Doug Stanhope
: Fuck you you selfish prick.
Doug Stanhope
: Gimme something to jack off to.
Doug Stanhope
: My dick is hard too, you know.
Doug Stanhope
: And remember to include the bald spots on either side of your head from where the apes tore your head out of the vice.

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