This guy was amazingly sensitive to my abnormalities...at least up until I told him I was a guy. Go figure.

Why do they always get upset when my boxers turn into a cotton tent?

If we each do our part to teach grammar and spelling to the pedophiles of the world, perhaps one day we can have homosexual cybersex without having to guess at what they're actually trying to say.

I've never ran into a building that could talk, let alone sit around on the internet waiting for pedophiles to IM it, but hey, I don't know everything.

You bastards voted my Cowboys and Indians right off the site. That means you get more wet, sloppy poop baits. Bastards.

Maybe I should explain that this guy IM'd me while I was in the middle of another bait and told me how he had all this shit wrong with him. I told him I was in a wheelchair too (after being raped and thrown out of a car by Indians) but to IM me later cuz I was busy. Thats why I tried to force all of the back story into the conversation up front. BM said I should explain what Spina Bifida is, showing me how much he overestimates my intelligence. I dont really don't know but I've ssen pictures of kids fucked up by it and it always makes me chuckle.

Bastard Messiah and I did this one together here in Colorado Springs. He did the funny parts.

Here's a sad, half-hearted comeback attempt. My imagination left with the beer.

As Kenny Rogers said, "know when to walk away - know when to run".

This one hits all the regular beats and includes poop, which is always, always funny.

After sending me countless shit-ass baits to post, Jizzmopper finally sent this one. It's still total shit, but it's less total shit than the previous ones. And the line "there's just too much negro on you to be thwarted" is good, I guess. (Update: It seems that Chezwig is a moron and didn't realize that the above text is, for the most part, sarcasm. Just like nearly everything else I post on the site. So anyone else who didn't realize that, go give yourselves a pat on the back for being way too dense.

Nothing like math, role-playing, and semen on the keyboard. By Hunter.

Doug Stanhope's foray into the field of baiting. That dirty, dirty bastard.

Everyone wants to get involved with online advertising, even in the realm of cybersex. By BastardMessiah.

"A stereotypical cowboy relationship" automatically includes homo-erotic undertones, right?

It's nice to be able to discuss the intricacies of family life with a self-proclaimed "good parent".

I'm not sure if this guy has a learning disability or what, but he sure as fuck couldn't grasp my simple-yet-elegant sarcasm.

Every once in awhile we get IMed by honest-to-goodness pedophiles that would like nothing more than to meet us in person and have hot, sweaty, under-age sex. I lucked out this time, getting a ton of his personal info before he finally wisened up and left. Moron...

Like wrestling, baiting is fixed. The outcome is never in doubt.

Jenny, the kung-fu fighting cyber-whore, meets her greatest challenge to date. After this log is finished, there can be only one left standing.....

Being an actor has always been a dream of mine. Since that is never going to happen, I thought I would get out my bitterness here. Fuck you.

When a baitee asks 'Do you prefer small or large cocks?', I know the comedy gods are smiling down on me. The messy human sacrifices are a pain, but the comedy gold is worth it.

It's been 3 year since I've baited, so fuck off. Dirknote: The glint in this guy's eyes is disturbing. That is, if "forcing me to masturbate repeatedly" means "disturbing".

Since you no-talent ass-clowns have been bitching for so damned long about no new logs from the Master Baiters, I decided to spite you and post a log from WAY back when. Now put this in your mouth and like it. I have no idea how good or bad this log is, so if you don't like it, eat my ass.

If you're a pedophile and looking for a new car, the Mercury Mistress is the luxury vehicle for you. Get the Executive package, too - I love the sodomy. (Old bait - I'm a lazy bitch)

I am the 14th Century King of France, dammit. Another old-ass bait for ya. At least this one was in my "Postable Baits" folder.

Here's an excruciatingly stupid pedophile whose hobbies include being illiterate, begging for pictures of naked 13-year-old girls, and giving out his name/address/phone number in exchange for absolutely nothing. (Warning: This bait is NOT short-attention-span compatible.)

The "Teabag Tales: Part One" pedophile returns - armed with pictures of his balls. I was also armed - with schizophrenia, narcotics, money, and Goonies references.

I got interrupted with a phone call while working on this one, so there's no "proper" ending. There is a sequel, I'll post it later.

Okay, it's not a newfangled or revolutionary bait; it's the same old shit. But the point is: It's SHIT! So waddle in it, pretty piglets.

janamkhan1: i think u r a habitual katamite and u will suck my penis first and then insert it into ur buttock and start up and down.

Introducing SexOffenderJoe - the world's most caring, loving child predator.

I baited this one before and threatened her with emailing her mommy what she was doing, but she came back anyway. In any case, pregnant chicks are apparently really attractive to bi-sexual adolescent girls. That's something to keep in mind, guys.

Damn strange fetishes this guy has. Being urinated on by Celtic warriors is not my idea of a good time.

Hopefully, Sexbot 2.1 will have better control over fine, manual controls.

Program change: PROGRAM_GAY_TROLL
Program transition complete

Human (homosexual) love is illogical.

This guy almost played along with the stories. At least until it turned gay. Wierd fuck.

I've got the feeling I'm just not being very funny lately. *sighs*

I've said it before, and I'll say it again - if you aren't fluent in English, stay away from people claiming to be horny little girls.

All I want to know is what real guy wouldn't mind pretending to have lesbian sex? This just proves that "he" really was a "her".

Yippie! Just another log with some illiterate moron with some bizzare wood fetish who needs to be told 15 fucking times that I am a man and want to ass-rape him.

Some people have really, really dumb AIM names.

Nothing fills you up like when your lover shits down your throat.

Admittedly, this does NOT belong in the "I Like Little Girls!" section. But it's the only category I can put this in, as of now. Sven! Make a new category for me - I'm exploring my NAMBLA side!!! Do it, or I'll rape you with my clit. C-L-I-T.